It has come to The Clumpany’s attention that a progressive, imaginative and ambitious golden egg-laying goose has wandered into the vicinity of Celtic Park. Apparently it sneaked in a couple of years ago.
The Clumpany cannot believe that this wildfowl-based transgression has been allowed to occur and remain present since the summer of 2016.
What the f*ck is going on? How can any sensible board allow this affront to the very idea of rigid financial planning be allowed to roam free?
Surely the time has now come for the Celtic board to strangle the goose that has been laying these golden eggs as if there is no tomorrow?
The sparkling vista of enduring football success has been given free rein for far too long. Surely no sensible board can keep spending money to feed the entirely reasonable ambitions of this success-generating bird?
It is clearly now time to…
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